5 years ago:
We were so hopeful and excited, dreaming of what our life would look like in the future.
So far it’s been so much better than I ever could have imagined. I often say I got really lucky. Obviously snagging Nate, but also because there was so much about him I DIDN’T know, so much about us as a couple I never could have known – and everything I didn’t know could have been bad. But instead I was surprised, and continue to be surprised all the time at how amazing Nate is, and how wonderful we are together.
I learn more about him and about us every day. In the last 5 years, we have figured this marriage thing out – at least OUR marriage. We know how to talk to each other, how to treat each other, how to make each other so very, very happy.
But this last few weeks, something changed. We are going through something you can’t really plan for. When deciding to get married, one doesn’t typically venture into devastating what-ifs. What if something turns out to be wrong with our perfect little baby? What if the “gender” ultrasound shows us something we don’t want to see? What if I am so devastated that I can’t eat, drink, talk, or do anything but cry or sit in a coma-like state for a week after? What if our baby and I have to move to another state and have major surgery together, and I become so helpless that you have to do everything for me? What if you have to give me a sponge bath because I cant walk, help me go to the bathroom, put my clothes on, brush my teeth, clean up my vomit, and then when I start walking, hold me up because I nearly pass out, place me gently on the toilet when I have to go the bathroom, and pull my pants up after? What if I can’t breathe after the surgery, and you have to stand at the edge of my hospital bed and do nothing but watch while Dr.s and nurses frantically run around trying to fix me? What if you have to stay behind and watch me and our baby roll into an OR where anything could happen? What if for the next 2 days you won’t sleep because you will be staring at the monitor, watching my contractions coming frequent and strong, and wondering if our baby is going to make it?
We didn’t plan for any of that, no. But we did prepare for it, unknowingly.
Before we got engaged, I visited Nate for a weekend right here in Denver while he was away for the summer. The night before I flew home we stayed up late watching a movie. I fell asleep during the movie. I woke up the next morning in a panic- my plane left at like 6 am and I couldn’t miss it because I had to be at work in Utah by 9.
Well, after I fell asleep, Nate had carried me to my bed, packed my suitcase, driven back to his apartment, set his alarm (probably for like 2 hours), then came back early and woke me up with plenty of time to get ready and make it to the airport on time.
No one had ever taken care of me like that before. I felt so loved, and I think that was probably the defining moment when I knew I could marry him and always be taken care of.
I shouldn’t be surprised anymore, but I have been amazed at how Nate has handled our last 3 weeks. He has been so strong, so patient, so loving, so understanding. He has taken care of me in ways that are traumatizing and embarrassing, and done things no young husband should have to do for his young wife. But I have seen more love in his eyes than ever before. I have learned so much about him and about us that I didn’t know – and that I love.
I’m so very grateful we have had these last 5 years to prepare us for this moment.
I’m so grateful I’m going through this with Nate – he truly is 100% perfect for me.
Happy 5 years to my forever love.