Hoping for a positive ultrasound!
This week was very hard on me. I don’t know if I am glad the Dr.s were vague and optimistic, or if I wished they had been more specific and realistic.
I drank and drank, and my fluids came up a little. At first they told us we needed to get to 5 cm. When we got to 5 cm, they changed their minds to 6 cm.
When we got to 6 cm, Calvin kept having decels on his monitoring, which means his heart would slow down and they worried he was pressing on his umbilical cord, which is very dangerous and happens when there isn’t a lot of fluid.
It was a balancing act and roller coaster of emotions. We would get so excited when the fluid was high, and then come crashing down when the strip was bad. Or the strip would be great, and then the fluid would be too low. Every day we thought we could be going home. And every day we were disappointed.
Crushed after 3 hours of monitoring one morning when fluid was “high enough” but Calvin was having decels.
We prayed and prayed for more fluid and good strips, and panicked when that didn’t happen. We worried about such an unknown immediate future.
I was so tired of having to have the nurses bring me my medications. I just wanted to manage my own care!
Nate was frustrated with the plan of care: drink a lot, and we hope that will fix it.
We hated having to call our family every day and not give good news – over and over again.
It started to look like I might be staying in the hospital for 9 weeks – until delivery. And while I was NOT excited about that, I really just wanted some finality, a definite plan, instead of yo-yo-ing my emotions every day.