This is the face of a very happy girl who has no idea that in a few minutes her whole world will be turned upside-down.
The day I found out I was pregnant I downloaded about 10 pregnancy apps on my phone. When I got home from Oregon, I went to the library and checked out a BUNCH of pregnancy books. I already knew a ton from undergrad and nursing school, but I wanted to learn every single thing. I read and read and read. Pretty much every book and every app had all the same information. But I read them all anyway. I wanted to know everything.
What I learned and what I knew from my medical experience was that I really had nothing to worry about. I was young and healthy. Nate was young and healthy. I had been taking my prenatal vitamins for over a year. I avoided deli meats, caffeine, hot tubs and sushi as a precaution, but really I didn’t worry about a thing. Almost all pregnancies of people in my situation go 100% without a glitch.
And so we showed up at our 20 week anatomy scan (2 weeks late, on December 3) without a care in the world. We had just had a great Thanksgiving weekend, Nate was back from a month in Oklahoma and had the day off, we had a long to-do list of errands to run right after. We were only expecting to be there a few minutes – long enough for the Dr. to say, “Everything looks perfect, continue with your monthly appointments with your OB.”
Only that’s not what happened.
And it wasn’t what I was expecting. Because they forgot that chapter in “What To Expect When You’re Expecting”. The chapter entitled “When good pregnancies go bad…”
The ultrasound tech started looking at our little guy. She saw his cute little hands. Then started looking at his brain. And kept looking. And kept looking. And then went to his heart. And back to his brain. And to his feet. And back to his brain. I started to wonder why she kept looking at his brain. She asked a few questions like, “is this your first ultrasound?” and “Did you have blood work done?” and then stopped talking. Until the end when she said she was going to get the Dr.
While waiting for the Dr., Nate and I made a few jokes, talked a little bit, and neither of us mentioned what we were both thinking.
The Dr. came in and looked for himself. At the brain. Then at the spine. He started talking. And I stopped listening. I closed my eyes and fought back tears. Nate held my hand. The Dr. kept saying things like “look here, Cami, see how this is like this? Well, it should be like this…” Only I didn’t want to look there, and I didn’t want to see. And I didn’t want to hear.
On his way out he said, “Oh, and by the way….it’s a boy.”
We went to the lab and had some blood drawn. We left the Dr.s office four hours after arriving. We didn’t get to our to-do list.